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I've Been Thinking About Decision Making
and how to make it easier for yourself
I make decisions for a living. Decision-making is my jam. I actually love making decisions. It’s probably because when I was younger, most of my decisions were made for me (and didn’t always align with me), which I really didn’t like. As an adult, I’ve really enjoyed the gift of having options and being able to make my own decisions.
That being said, I think it may be more common that people don’t like making decisions. The pressure of making decisions can be extremely overwhelming with the amount of options available to us. I get that, and while I enjoy the ability to make decisions, I can get very overwhelmed by them as well.
I recently came across this quote from Deepak Chopra about decision-making:
If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.
I especially love how he frames the outcome of decisions as not right or wrong but rather, "only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action". This is also how I’ve learned to look at and make decisions in my life—especially working as an interior designer. Rather than looking at decisions as a "right or wrong" thing, I look at decisions as a way to achieve what you want at that time. This is truly the only way to look at decisions if you are going to make them for other people. When I have looked at decisions as a "right" or "wrong" thing, it made me way too nervous to recommend anything to anyone—what if I get it "wrong"?!
When you take the judgment aspect out of decision making and look at it as a way to create a path/experience in life, it gets a lot less stressful and becomes a lot more fulfilling.
I think another large part of why decisions are hard is because of the question being asked. Open-ended questions are the hardest. If you are feeling decision paralysis, try reframing the question you are trying to answer. Change "Which white paint color will look best in my house?" to "Where can I look to get some good white paint color recommendations?" and then "Of these options, which one will help me achieve my goal of ____?" and go from there. Question your questions before you question yourself. It’s hard even for me to answer that first question; there are too many options with a question like that. Narrow it down. Get more specific.
And always remember, having a choice is a gift. A gift to create and a gift to invite a new possibility. The universe isn’t going to punish you, it’s just going to respond. What do you want to invite into your life? Embrace the messiness of not knowing every outcome and how that can benefit you, because a lot of times things work out even better than you could have imagined or made happen.
And after all this, if you still don’t know what decision to make…just ask me ;)
I've Been Thinking About Decision Making
This is such a wonderful way to embrace and enjoy life. Stay curious and playful with your questions and decisions. Decide what you want your life to look like and make decisions that move you in that direction. And you can always course correct when needed.
Great points. I often get asked to help my flooring customers pick paint colors. Most of the time I'm very confident; but occasionally there are times when I feel very pressured to get the "right color!" and that intuitive sense becomes less detectable. This totally explains why.
Can also say from my own life that viewing decisions as ONLY RIGHT or ONLY WRONG, paralyzed me for years out of fear of getting it wrong. And consequently me being at fault for making the "dominos of life" fall in the wrong direction. ...Realizing as I get older it's not quite as serious, and usually not irreversible. You can always make another, better decision. Especially with paint!! :)
Very helpful info!